Everyday life isn’t easy for most of us, but for transgenders it’s a whole other ballgame. From hiring consultants who help trans women learn to be more feminine, to undergoing speech therapy to get their voices in order, falling into yourself as a transgender can be tricky. But nothing is so tricky as your social life, not just with family, but also with friends and lovers. In this final post of my transgender interview series, I’ve asked our friends Natalie and Milo to tell us a bit about their romantic and school relationships.
Many people confuse homosexuality with transgenderism. What is your sexual orientation, if I might ask? Do you feel personally that your orientation has always been separate from your gender identity, or has experience led you to believe otherwise?
People do confuse the two. My gender identity has nothing to do with my sexuality. I consider myself a lesbian, interested only in females. After being molested I have very little trust with any guy. As my bi friend says, girls are just easier on the eyes.
I am pansexual. I like men, women, and people who identify as neither.
Have you had any lasting relationships? How did your transgenderism play into them? Was it still a secret, or known between you?
I am married. My wife knows and accepts it; however, she does fear a complete transformation. I think for her its part of the unknown and the other part is her family is very similar to mine and she is scared of how they would react. She was the first person I dated that I actually told and accepted it without question.
I have been in a relationship for 6 years. They knew before I did and actually told me about what I was. Sometimes they would be impatient or rude about it but in the end it worked out.
On High School
If you realized you were transgender before high school graduation, how do you feel your grade school experiences differed from your adult experiences? Is it easier to get through life now that you have graduated? What about college experiences, if any?
I knew in high school and tried to tell two people. The first told other students and my life became a living hell as kids mocked and teased even though I denied it… I tried to make arrangements to tell a teacher, but she failed to show up for our appointment so I never did.
In high school no one cared, in college I told one person and they told me to stay away or they would call campus security on me and have me banned. Pretty sure they couldn’t do that but why would I stay around a bigot anyway?
Were you teased in high school for anything related to your transgenderism (whether you had “come out” or not)? Are there any incidents or long-time abuses that come to mind?
I was. I vehemently denied it, denying my friendship with the girl who told, but it didn’t help much. I ended up just answering to the names they called me to try and own the situation but it didn’t help.
I was abused for other things but not transgenderism. I was outed but I was already so weird that most people just ignored it.
Want more? Visit Mica’s the other transgender interview blog posts. If you’re an author, also visit Mica’s Free Online Writing Events Calendar for chances to get free professional feedback or to win contests, or read some of Mica’s Writing Tips posts!